


Crack Pairing Drabbles

by mousaerato



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crack Pairing, Drabble, Multi, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-24
Updated: 2012-12-10
Packaged: 2017-11-19 09:57:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/572047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mousaerato/pseuds/mousaerato
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exactly what the title says: drabbles of crack pairings/rarepairs from Homestuck.</p><p>I may or may not consider it a personal challenge to get people to start shipping these.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jane ♥ Equius

                If there is one thing your dad always made sure of, it was that you were raised with a strong sense of humility. Even though you’re destined to become heiress of a large company that has suddenly branched out into…well, _everything,_ you’ve never felt like anyone of particular importance. You’re no different than anyone else!

                Well, maybe you’re different than _he_ is, but that’s not what you mean.

                He’s wearing these cracked, dark glasses as he looks up at you, down on one knee. His hair is dark and slicked back, wearing a black wifebeater and gray shorts. Speaking of gray, his skin is this shade of pewter you’ve only seen once before – and that was from that _creepy clown._ This man, however, isn’t so much creepy as he is…endearing, if you’re being honest.

                He looks so strong – and you’re sure he is, with the muscles and broken horn – but the way he’s reached for your hand, just barely touching it like you’re some fragile and precious creature that needs to be cared for, makes you think he isn’t nearly as bad as he’d like to seem. And…is he _sweating?_ My, he really is! You won’t say anything about it – that would be rude, and he can’t help it! Is he _nervous_?

                “You are the heiress of this universe, correct?” He lowers his head as he speaks, as if he’s undeserving of looking at you. His voice has an accent that, while foreign, strikes you as being exceptionally _cultured,_ like he’s a member of aristocracy. His hand trembles while holding yours, and you give his hand a squeeze of reassurance. He inhales sharply – wow, he is…really undone by this! Your face feels hot.

                From what you know of the game, your role, the massive story surrounding the events of your life, you’re sure you can give him an answer. “I guess you _could_ call me that, but—“

                He cuts you off. “A landdwelling empress. I never thought I would see the day.” He sounds cautiously optimistic – it’s a tone you recognize well from your own outlook.

                “I’m nothing like the one before me. I have no plans to do _anything_ like she did.”

                “Your Highness, please…” You hum in curiosity and interest; he looks up at you and removes his glasses with his free hand. His eyes are gray, with the slightest hint of indigo in them – beautiful, if you’re being honest with yourself.

                What he does next makes you shiver. He brings your hand to his mouth, slowly and carefully, and plants the most chaste and reverent of kisses to its top. Your face is completely red, you can feel it. He doesn’t say a word of it, but he looks like he sweats more. “…Consider me completely at your service.”

                “Oh…” You’re flabbergasted, bewildered.

                “I will gladly protect you. Anything you wish, your Highness. It is my command. Give an order, and I will _strongly_ execute it faithfully, even if it means my own death.” The way he speaks has a sense of finality and familiarity, and the specter of doom that gilds and tints his words makes your heart ache. You can tell he’s being entirely sincere, and there is something noble – even beautiful – in that.

                “Any order at all?”

                “Yes,” he huffs, voice stifled and nervous. You smile.

                “Okay then. I _order_ you…” You tug upward at his wrists, thankful that he follows and stands before you. He gasps, covering his mouth in shame. He’s so much taller than you, and yet he acts like he is much _lesser_ than you. You place his glasses back on his face and watch him _blush,_ that same wonderful shade of indigo, and you grin.

                “ _…never_ to kneel again.”

                He’s practically speechless. “I – your Highness  --“

                “And call me Jane.”

                “Yes…I can most certainly do that, if that is your command.” He makes an addendum in correction: “…Jane.”

                You can’t help but laugh. Taking his hand, you get onto the tips of your toes and give him a kiss on the cheek, catching the taste of sweat that you find strangely cute. “Let’s go back to my home.”

                He seems scandalized by the suggestion. “You high- I mean, Jane…are you certain—“

                “Hey! You said anything I wanted, right?” You tease.

                “Well…yes…forgive me. I spoke out of turn.” He takes things much too seriously!

                “I could use a hand in cooking tonight – think you could help with mixing and cutting things up?”

                “Absolutely, Jane.”

                You walk together, hand in hand, even though he is clearly nervous that he may hurt you. He walks beside you in a way that practically shields you, embodying his promise to protect you. You don’t like being deified like an empress, but being treated like someone dear, almost like a princess, is okay with you.

 


	2. Roxy ♠ Sollux

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering twinArmageddons [TA] \--

TG: alrite lets see if this weird time shit works  
TG: wonked for jane and jake so i cant see why not  
TG: *worked  
TA: would you look at that, iit2 another worthle22 piink aliien monkey.  
TG: excuse me douchenozzle  
TA: what2 a douchenozzle?  
TG: u  
TA: haha, youre TWO funny.  
TA: 2o, two what do ii owe the amaziing and gloriious plea2ure of dealiing wiith you? your chumhandle almo2t look2 famiiliiar. at lea2t the iiniitiial2 are.  
TG: mayb i contacted u before?  
TG: like from ur chronogoly i mean  
TG: *chronology  
TA: not thii2 2hiit. maybe you 2hould talk two AA.  
TG: im lookin for the coder guy  
TG: that you?  
TA: 2ure a2 2hiit ii2nt KK, hehe.  
TG: no clue who that is but w/e  
TG: were all gonna meet anyway so  
TA: 2o, what exactly do you need?   
TG: actually idek if i should deal w/u  
TG: i was told there was some totes awesome coder dude on ur ship  
TG: instead he just likes callin me worthless and a monkey  
TA: but we agree on you beiing pink and aliien? iintere2tiing.  
TG: pinks a nice color but ya ill level with u over the a word  
TA: can you plea2e hurry thii2 the fuck up? ii’ve got a ma22iive headache over here.  
TG: sounds like u need a drink  
TA: haha, NO.  
TG: what  
TG: best way to get over a hangover is keep drinkin  
TG: ;)  
TA: waiit, are you human drunk riight now?  
TG: lmafo human drunk  
TG: no im troll drunk  
TG: yes asshole  
TG: just a little tipsy  
TG: anyway back to bizniss codebro  
TA: ii bet your codiing 2uck2.  
TG: orly  
TA: iif youre tra2hed all the tiime, yeah, really.  
TG: comin from the guy who types like he sees double all the time  
TA: maybe ii DO 2ee double all the tiime, ever thiink of that, code monkey?  
TG: code grl thx  
TG: but ya i wanted u to check a file for me bc ur p much the expert or w/e  
TA:  you know what? iim bored. nobody2 really been lii2teniing two me lately anyway.  
TG: gee i ownder why  
TG: *wonder  
TA: 2end the fiile, wriigler.  
TG: hold on  
TG: added some features just for UR APPROBAL  
TG: *approval  
TG: lol probe  
TA: thii2 ii2 what ii’m reduced two: lookiing at amateur aliien coder2’ ^cake fiile2.  
TG: oh this aint caek  
TG: *^cake  
TA: oh? con2iider me DOUBLY 2hocked.

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] sent twinArmageddons [TA] the file lispingasshole.~ATH --

TA: oh, 2hiit, the dumba22 triied 2omethiing in ~ath.  
TG: didnt ur mom teach u maners  
TG: *manners  
TG: thats no way to tlak to a lady  
TA: whatever. ii don’t care about your gender. a dumba22 ii2 a dumba22.  
TG: thinkin a lot bout my ass  
TG: open that file yet?  
TA: let2 2ee this  
TA: oh, FUCK.  
TG: hahahaha  
TA: what the hell? how diid you do thii2?  
TG: still think im a wriggler  
TA: ii2 that piicture of you?  
TG: not that it matters but ya  
TA: 2hiit, there2 a tiimer on thii2.  
TG: and this is ~ath bro  
TG: got one guess as to what that timers for  
TA: diid you really change thii2 that fa2t?  
TG: stop marvlin and figure out how to stop that programm  
TG: should be easy for you b/c im so below you rite?  
TA: 2hiit. double fuck.  
TG: you opened it w/o checking what it was?  
TG: ell emm eff a ooh  
TG: whos the wriggler again  
TA: ii 2wear, iif you were here iid 2erve you twofold liike a 2tar monkey on doublebutler ii2land.  
TG: tick tock tick tock  
TG: do i get ur name before u go  
TA: iim not goiing anywhere.  
TG: ya but this convos endin soon seeing as how u still havent figured it out  
TA: how diid you make thii2? ii cant even break the loop.  
TG: wont matter soon  
TG: tick tock tick tock  
TG: boom shakalaka  
TG: boom  
TG: wonk

\-- twinArmageddons [TA]’s computer exploded. --

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling tipsyGnostalgic [TG] \--

TA: good thiing ii have two computer2 here.  
TG: to make up for ur half brain no doubt  
TA:  youre 2omethiing el2e.   
TG: do i get a name yet  
TA: 2ollux.  
TG: like w the 2 or  
TA: iit2 my quiirk, ok?  
TG: lol  
TG: mimes roxy  
TG: *mines  
TA: k xy. iim gonna be hone2t, you probably know more than ii do.  
TA: you thiink you could look at thii2 for me?  
TG: sure

\-- twinArmageddons [TA] sent tipsyGnostalgic [TG] the file tiip2ygno2talgiic.~ath --

TG: this file is takin forever to send man  
TA: we can talk two fiill up the tiime.  
TA: maybe about how you owe me a new computer.  
TG: i owe you jack sith w a side of fuckall  
TG: *shit  
TA: blowiing up 2omeone2 computer upon opening the fiile ii2 the cheape2t fuckiing triick in the ~ath codebook.  
TA: iim almo2t dii2appoiinted.  
TG: worked against a douche like you tho  
TG: an srsly for a leet coder like u to open a file from someone u dont know?  
TG: dude you deserved it  
TA: mo2t people cant work in ~ath. ii thought iit was you tryiing to show off.  
TG: whyd i wanan show off to u  
TG: *wanna  
TA: you 2aiid 2o your2elf, iim a good coder. ii gue22 youll 2ee yourself 2oon, though.  
TG: ur arrogant as hell  
TA: and youre 2tiill an amateur brat ii happened to undere2tiimate.   
TA: 2uch a 2hame that 2uch a pretty face ii2 wa2ted on 2omeone liike you.  
TG: w/e sollux  
TG: bet ur some big toothed twoface  
TG: each one equally smug and jackassy when i see em  
TA: iif ii had two face2, what on alterniia make2 you thiink iid let you 2ee even one?  
TG: oh BURN  
TG: gonna need so much water i might sober up  
TA: you thiink youre 2o 2mart. your lame wriigler2 comeback2 are goiing two driive me two driink.  
TG: might make you code better like me  
TA: fuck you.  
TG: u wish buddy  
TA: ok xy, the fiile2 done 2ending. iit2 a two part fiile when you open it.  
TG: two parts oh wow shock of the century here  
TG:  lets see here  
TA: ii waiit wiith 2tiifled breath. hehe.  
TG: ya not openin this lol  
TG: totes a virus upon checking it  
TA: HAHA.  
TG: whats so funny  
TG: shit  
TG: h/o  
TA: haha!  
TG: you said making a file that makes a puter explode on opening is the cheppest trick in the book  
TG: *cheapest  
TA: no, ii 2aid makiing a fiile that doe2 that upon OPENING iit wa2 the cheape2t. that fiile make2 a tiimer to blow your computer up upon 2CANNIING THE FIILE.  
TG: motherfucker  
TA: 2uck iit, xy.  
TG: i swear when we mett  
TG: *meet  
TG: im gonna beat you dwon with my bare hands  
TA: riight back at you. hope you liike p2iioniic2, xy.  
TG: i cant even open the file to fix it?  
TG: fuck you sollux  
TG: fuck you so hard

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG]’s computer exploded. --

TA: <3<


	3. Calliope ♦ Caliborn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A controversial ship, however: 1) Calliope has shown interest in pale romance, and 2) all non-human players with candy red/human blood have been shown to be able to make relationships/bonds beyond their species' comprehension. Calliope herself said that her brother's love for games transcended definition, so it's not entirely out of left field.

\-- undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU] \--

uu: OKAY. I CANNOT BELIEVE I AM TELLING YOu THIS.  
uu: I’M GOING TO SOuND LIKE. SOME KIND OF COMPLETE IDIOT. BuT.  
uu: I JuST FINISHED TALKING TO MYSELF.  
uu: FROM THE FuTuRE.  
uu: SOME KIND OF WEIRD TIME SHIT.  
uu: ANYWAY. HE WAS QuITE ADAMANT. ABOuT ME *NOT* KILLING YOu.  
uu: THE GuY WAS TYPING IN SOME DISGuSTING LIME SHADE.  
uu: AND IN ALL CAPS. WHICH WAS MY PLAN AFTER I KILLED YOu.  
uu: “SPOILERS”.  
uu: YOu BEING DEAD APPARENTLY FuCKS uP THE ENTIRE GAME.  
uu: SO YOu ARE OFF THE HOOK. FOR NOW.  
uu: WHAT DO YOu SAY?

\-- undyingumbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU] \--

\-- uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] \--

UU: :U?  
UU: i rather like any plan that leaves me alive, so this is most certainly favoUrable. ^u^  
UU: do i dare think yoU’ve had a change of heart?

\-- uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] \--

\-- undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU] \--

uu: NOT SO MuCH A CHANGE OF HEART. AS IT IS A CHANGE OF DIRECTION.  
uu: I STILL WANT TO GET IN THIS GAME AND FuCK. SHIT. uP.  
uu: YOu SIMPLY WON’T BE ON THE RECEIVING END. OF MY PuZZLEMuRDERING.

\-- undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU] \--

\-- uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] \--

UU: to be honest, brother, *i* coUld have told yoU that.  
UU: in fact, i *did* tell yoU that. u_u;  
UU: yoU and i are playing a minimUm session! if *either* of Us die, we can’t win.  
UU: it’s the only thing that’s kept me from killing yoU myself!

\-- uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] \--

\-- undyingumbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU] \--

uu: LIKE YOu ACTuALLY HAVE IT IN YOu. TO KILL SOMEONE.  
uu: LET’S BE HONEST HERE. MuRDER ISN’T YOuR STRONG SuIT.  
uu: MuSES DON’T WRECK SHIT. THEY SIT THERE AND GIVE PEOPLE SHIT.  
uu: AND NOT SHIT IN THE SENSE. OF TELLING THEM OFF.  
uu: IF YOu KILLED ME. YOu’D PRETTY MuCH DIE INSTANTLY IN THIS GAME.  
uu: YOu NEED ME. YOu DON’T HAVE A SPINE OTHERWISE.  
uu: tumut

\-- undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU] \--

\-- uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] \--

UU: excUse me! when did yoU become a master of game rUles for oUr session?  
UU: a mUse is *mUch* more than simply “giving people bUnk”!  
UU: bUt, if yoU want to tell me what *my* weakness is…  
UU: …then i will simply retUrn the favoUr!  
UU: *YOU* coUldn’t win a one player session even IF yoU had all the powers of space at yoUr disposal! know why?  
UU: yoU are a petUlant *brat*! yoU mUrder and rage withoUt discrimination! yoU have no sense of strategy, and certainly not when we play chess together, either!  
UU: given oUr biological circUmstances, i think yoU forget one detail.  
UU: YOU ARE *NOT* SOME “SWOLE” BEHEMOTH! if yoU *ever* came across an enemy that was too large, if nothing else, yoU’d be killed instantly! all becaUse you don’t know how to pick yoUr battles or get others to help yoU.  
UU: yoU need *me*. yoUr anger and shortsightedness betrays yoU otherwise.  
UU: bUt i gUess yoU already knew that, now didn’t yoU? ~_u

\-- uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] \--

\-- undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU] \--

uu: TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE LORD’S “KINDNESS”.  
uu: HOW LONG HAVE YOu BEEN WANTING TO GET THAT BuLLSHIT OuT INTO THE OPEN?  
uu: WHATEVER.  
uu: I’M GOING TO ASK THIS ONCE.  
uu: DO YOu WANT TO PLAY THIS GAME TOGETHER. OR WHAT.

\--undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU] \--

\-- uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] \--

UU: i woUld be glad to, love. bUt there is one problem.  
UU: i mUst admit i don’t qUite trUst yoU. unu  
UU: how woUld we even do this together?

\-- uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] \--

\-- undyingUmbrage [uu] began jeering uranianUmbra [UU] \--

uu: YOu REALIZE. IF I SAID YOuR NAME RIGHT NOW. I WOuLD BE FuLLY IN THE RANGE OF “THE RuLES”. AND YOu WOuLD WAKE uP.  
uu: YOu COuLD DO LIKEWISE. IF YOu EVER NEEDED ME.  
uu: WHICH. BY THE WAY. YOu WILL. FOR REASONS I HAVE ALREADY MADE CLEAR.  
uu: SO THERE GOES THAT PROBLEM.  
uu: I THOuGHT YOu WERE THE SMART ONE.  
uu: tumut

\-- undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased jeering uranianUmbra [UU] \--

\-- uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] \--

UU: this is on par with the trickery yoU UsUally chide me for.  
UU: am i to believe my stUbborn "bro" may think i have a point? ~_u  
UU: as for me…  
UU: well, i’ll admit it. yoU’re right. i don’t think i coUld do mUch in terms of fighting, and this game is rather…notorioUsly violent.  
UU: i’ll…wake yoU Up, caliborn. bUt not withoUt my chain firmly on.

\-- uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] \--

\-- undyingUmbrage [uu] began cheering uranianUmbra [UU] \--

uu: YOu ACTuALLY DID IT.  
uu: WOW. YOuR CHAT CLIENT IS RIDICuLOuS. BuT I DIGRESS.  
uu: NOW FOR THE “TRuST” THING. uGH.  
uu: FINE. YOu WANT A SHOW OF TRuST?  
uu: I’M GOING TO SLEEP. WITHOuT MY SHACKLE.  
uu: IT’S uP TO YOu. YOu CAN GO TO SLEEP WITH YOuR SHACKLE ON AND I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE.  
uu: OR. YOu CAN TAKE YOuRS OFF TOO. AND WE CAN TRY TO PLAY.  
uu: JuST LIKE YOu WANTED.  
uu: A STRATEGIC TRuCE. IF YOu WILL.  
uu: A FATED ALLEGIANCE.  
uu: YOuR MOVE.

\-- undyingUmbrage [uu] ceased cheering uranianUmbra [UU] \--

\-- uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] \--

UU: yoU…actUally did it…  
UU: wow. yoUr leg is so strange withoUt the shackle! bUt i digress.  
UU: consider oUr allegiance sealed, brother. u3u  
UU: it really is beaUtifUl oUt here! i’ll set Up as mUch as i can for oUr entry.  
UU: see yoU soon.

\-- uranianUmbra [UU] ceased cheering undyingUmbrage [uu] \--


	4. Eridan ♥ Meulin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY I MISSED A HUGE THING. I know Meulin's deaf, but dream bubbles are *supposed* to heal up. I figured if she was running into Eridan, there was a possibility she could hear. :(

                He. Is. So. _Cute!_ How is he even allowed to be this _purrfect?_ He’s got these adorable blue and violet pinstriped pants and an embroidered matching cape and _MOG MOG MOG!_ He’s just so precious you could _scream!_

“Uh, can I help you, Nep- I mean, what’s your name? Sorry for that.” He’s looking right at you, but, _his accent!_ It’s too cute! You must have been shrieking louder than even you thought! You don’t care – seeing him come up even closer, with those pouty and full black lips crooked in suspicion with his arms crossed over his chest makes you squeal again.

                You sign to him your name, but he doesn’t quite get it. You try to be quiet when you tell him, “Meulin!”

                He looks…unsettled. “Oh. Thought you were someone else for a second.”

                Before he walks away, you let it slip. “You look like the most precious, perfect wizard _ever!”_

 _“Hey!”_ He looks offended – whoops. “I’ll have you know no self-respectin’ Ampora’d ever be a fuckin’ wizard.” There’s that wavy, regal-yet-renegade accent again. “Magic is—“

                “Fake, I know!” His eyes widen at your response, and he seems disarmed. “I’m more of a disciple of the sciences, myself.”

                 He _smiles._ “Now that’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout!” You jump a little, excited that the Mage has made a connection yet again! Your hands shake, too full of energy as he begins to approach you. 

                “I’ma student a’ the white sciences, myself,” he starts haughtily. He sounds like Cronus (yuck!), but less smug, which just kind of makes him sound cute to you. Maybe it’s the age difference. “What about you, Meu?”

                “Romantic sciences are my niche.”

                “So you’re one a’ the crazy cat shipper girls. Guess that fits for a Leijon,” he scoffs. You scowl.

                “Hey! My knowledge of Heart goes far past shipping!”

                “Oh yeah? What ya got besides a shippin’ chart?”

                “I don’t have purrmission to show you all of them, but…”

                “But,” he responds, intrigued.

                “I have several full-length pieces of red and pale romantic fiction! Some of them even inspired from what we could see in Alternia!”

                He gets closer and asks in a whisper – thank goodness you can read lips – “Got anythin’ that’s, ah…historical romance?”

                “Duh!” He’s dumbfounded. “Who _doesn’t_ have a historical AU piece? No ardent disciple I know, that’s for sure. Oh, it’s a great piece, full of espionage and intrigue and—“

                “Is it seafarin’?”

                “A _little_.”

                “I’d love t’read it.”

                You shriek with joy and find the manuscript in your sylladex, grabbing the little Ampora by the arm and running back with him to a warm area full of trees you can sit under together. You happily present him with the text and watch as he reads with intense interest.

                “Uh…” he stutters, finally getting to the first love scene. “T-this is…”

                His face is flushed violet! “Purrly done?”

                “F-fuck no,” he snaps back. “This is… _arousin’_.”

                He keeps reading, face getting more violet and his breathing getting a little shallow. Good thing ghosts don’t need to breathe. You can’t help but giggle.

                “This all stuff from your head, or were you gettin’ inspiration from elsewhere, Meu?”

                “That is 100% original material from the Mage of Heart, Ampurra.”

                He puts the text down and looks at you, eyes taking a good trace of your skirt and olive top first. It’s endearing; you know well enough when a boy is interested, and he’s trying to be polite. That’s something Cronus would have done well to learn as royalty. “Well, there’s one big thing I noticed in here…”

                “Oh?” You tilt your head in curiosity.

                “You got a lot a’ allusions to Alternia and seafarin’ culture, yeah, but some of them are a little anachronistic an’ inaccurate.”

                “No!” You sigh. You did so much research!

                “Uh, I got some military history textbooks an’ some old historical documents stowed away in some of these bubbles,” he offers, voice trying not to sound too excited. “Even if I can’t get ‘em, I’m sure I remember enough if you wanted to use some of it for—“

                “MOG!” you scream! “We could work on a sequel together!”

                “ _Together?_ ”

                “It’ll be just _purrfect!_ The Mage of Heart and the—“

                “Prince a’ Hope-“

                “Working together on the greatest piece of historic romance ever! It’ll blow. Trolls’. _Minds_.”

                He laughs. “That sounds like a pretty brazen advance, there, fellow scientist. I’m nothin’ if not flattered, but…”

                “Not interested?”

                “Oh, I’m _interested_.” How could he not be after reading all _that? “_ Just…makin’ sure that’s what you wanted, is all.”

                “And you can teach me what you learned from the white sciences and the angels!”

                “You sure? Those angels had some dark prophecies about a Lord a’ double death…”

                “Oh, I’m sure,” you reply. “This is going to be great.”


	5. John ♥ Damara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Mildly* NSFW.

                Part of being a friendleader is making sure everyone is on board with the plan, that no one is left behind or upset, and that everyone is on the same page. It’s been difficult for you, having most of your friends far away, but now that you’re all together, you think you’ve done just fine keeping the team alive!

                Except for one girl.

                Everyone has warned you that going to talk to her is like running face-first into disaster. You just laugh – come on! How bad could she be? Sure, she’s a troll, but really, trolls and humans aren’t that different! One of your best buddies is one. You’re sure if you just go and talk to her, everything will work its way out.

                When you see her, you suddenly understand all the warnings.

                She’s alone, standing outside of some dream projection of a Beforan hive. She’s in this rust-red, blood-like skirt and uniform combo, form fitting with the skirt hiked up, and these white stockings that end just around the knee. With her long hair pulled up in a bun, a complete contradiction of the rule-breaking persona she gives off, you’ve…suddenly forgotten what you’re going to say. And you’re a bit uncomfortable as a sweet, burnt odor from her cigarette (you think it’s a cigarette) hits your nostrils.

                You walk up to her, hoping that maybe your Hero of Breath garb might buy you some authority, anemically starting, “Uh…h-hi! I’m John, and-“

                She says something in this coarse, thick accent. It sounds vaguely Japanese to you! Didn’t Dave and Rose say she was a complete sweetheart to people? You guess it was a trick. She sashays up to you, hips swaying with each step, as you try to find your voice and keep your eyes on her face. “Look, I know I j-just met you, but this guy—“

                “The Lord of Time.” This time, you can make out her accent. Her voice is low, rich, dark. It does _not_ help; if anything, it’s just making it harder. The situation, that is!

                “Y-yeah, I guess that’s his name? It’s going to take all of us working together to take him down—“

                “You sound nervous. You should relax.” She hands you her cigarette, and it becomes very, _very_ clear to you that it isn’t tobacco. Shoot, what do you do? You can’t just throw it out, that would be rude!

                “Oh, I uh, I can’t, I just ate.” _That was stupid!_

She laughs and licks her lips – wow, her lips are really full and red – before taking it back from you and giving it a long, slow drag. You can’t stop yourself staring at her mouth.

                “Shame. Feels good,” she offers, blowing smoke in your face before stomping it out on the ground. You cough, feeling painfully uncool. “Go on.”

                “Oh! Well, this guy’s a powerful demon, and we think it would take everyone to get rid of him. He’s apparently a time player, too, so look, we could really use your help...”

                She smirks. Maybe telling her she was really important gave her an upper hand. “I know, I know, maybe there’s some bad blood between you and the other alpha trolls, but – I’m not them! See? I’m sure if we got to know each other better, we could work together just fine!” You smile and extend a hand to her, laughing nervously in spite of yourself.

                She approaches you, but doesn’t take your hand, opting instead to place her palm firmly on your thigh. Your eyes close in spite of yourself and you inhale with a hiss.

                “You want to get to know me better?” She drags her hand closer to your—

                “Y-yeah,” you respond, not sure if you mean your intended purpose or something else. “We’re not all that different, really…”

                “You’re such a nice boy. Aren’t you?”

                “I t-t-try, I mean, I’m not weak or anything—“

                “Oh, I can tell,” she brings her mouth close to your ear and snakes her other arm around you, letting her fingernails draw down your back. You should make her stop, but…

                “Can you now…” You’re a little overwhelmed.

                “If you want to get to know me. You’re going to have to do it more personally.”

                _Oh god does she mean what you think she means oh no you mean yes you mean wait wait wait._ “Uhm, pardon?” you squeak.

                She whispers in your ear, sweet smell of smoke still lingering on her. The things she mutters to you are positively vulgar, unlike anything you’ve ever seen or heard or even dreamed about, and suddenly, you kind of don’t give a fuck about the mission.

                You fight against it: “I should go…maybe someone else should try to c-convince you, this is really wrong-“

                “But that’s why it’s so fun,” she purrs, putting a finger into the elastic of your pants. “Isn’t it?”

                You try not to respond, but with no contact from anyone for years, with Rose being with Kanaya, and having to live with Jade and Davesprite hooking up for a good two years, you can’t help it – you moan and clutch at her arm.

                She presses her lips to your neck and smiles into the skin, pleased when you shudder. “Come on, Windy Boy. Blow me.”


	6. Dirk ♥ Tavros

\-- adiosToreador [AT] began trolling timaeusTestified [TT] \--

AT: sO, i HEARD YOU WERE TALENTED AT YOUR SPECIES’ VERSION, oF THE DISTINGUISHED ART OF SLAM POETRY,,,  
TT: Is that whole inverted caps thing by choice, or is your computer broken?  
AT: iT'S COMPLETELY MY CHOICE, yOU INFERIOR HUMAN, yOU,  
TT: Ok.  
AT: yES, LET’S PUT THAT OUT THERE,  
AT: tHE FACT THAT, i THINK YOU’RE AWFUL, eVEN THOUGH YOU THINK YOU’RE so cool,,,  
TT: I don’t really care if you think I’m cool. Or anyone else, actually.  
AT: sEE, AND THAT’S EXACTLY, wHY YOU’RE SO COOL,  
TT: And now you’re affirming my previously undisputable coolness attribute. Thank you.  
TT: So, you want a rap off? Is that what this is?  
AT: iF THAT’S WHAT YOUR INFERIOR HUMAN RACE, uH, cALLS IT, tHEN YES,,,  
TT: Challenger goes first.  
AT: (yOU MIGHT WANT TO, yOU KNOW, pLAY A LOOP FOR THIS,)  
AT: }:)  
TT: Squarewave is already on it, bro.  
TT: Let loose.  
AT: oKAY,  
AT: 1, 2, 3,,,  
AT: i HEARD THAT YOUR NAME, wAS DIRK HUMAN STRIDER,  
AT: wHEN REALLY, tHEY SHOULD CALL YOU, tHE LIMP NOODLE RIDER,  
TT: Oh shit. It is on now.  
AT: wHILE FOR MOST PATHETIC HUMANS, oNE HEAD WOULD SUFFICE,  
AT: yOU'RE ALSO AWAKE ON DERSE, sO YOU CAN TRY TO THINK TWICE,  
AT: yOUR SWEET NINJA MOVES, aRE OLD HAT, aND SLAPSTICK,  
AT: aND THE WAY YOU TYPE, mAKES YOU LOOK SPASTIC,  
AT: yOU THINK YOUR FRIENDS, wANT TO TALK TO YOU, fOR HOURS,  
AT: bUT IF THAT WAS TRUE, wHAT'S WITH THE INFINITE SHOWERS?  
AT: (nOT THAT I’M THINKING, aBOUT YOU IN THE SHOWER,)  
AT: (oR THAT I’VE SEEN IT,)  
AT: (jUST A POINT OF CLARIFICATION, sO THIS DOESN’T SOUND LIKE ANYTHING, sEXUAL)  
TT: I’m going to stop you right there.  
AT: uH, WHAT,  
TT: First off, that was awful.  
TT: Secondly, if you weren’t thinking anything sexual, why did you feel a need to bring it out into the open to negate it?  
TT: Doing that tells me you considered your statement possibly sexual, and thought that the same connotation may have crossed my mind as well.  
AT: wELL,  
TT: You called me a limp noodle rider. Does your species not have the concept of phalluses, or was that an intentional attempt at a burn?  
AT: i DON’T FEEL COMFORTABLE, aNSWERING THIS,  
TT: Why the sudden lack of confidence?  
AT: yOU THINK I’M, cONFIDENT,  
TT: Sort of, in a gun-slinging, gun-toting Pollyanna way. Takes a lot of nerve to step up on a bro and throw down. Kind of reminds me of someone.  
AT: oH, wELL, tHANK YOU, i THINK,  
TT: That doesn’t change my question, though.  
TT: Your entire rap was filled with references to head, cocks, and looking at me naked.  
AT: cAN i TALK TO YOU, mAYBE AT ANOTHER TIME,  
TT: You started this conversation. You could easily end it if you wanted to.  
AT: i KNOW THAT,  
TT: And yet, you keep sending me messages.  
AT: dON'T YOU HAVE OTHER HOBBIES, yOU COULD BE TENDING TO,  
TT: Of course. And I’m sitting here talking to you.  
AT: hOW SHOULD i TAKE THIS INFORMATION,  
TT: The same way I’m taking the fact that you’re still talking.  
AT: mAYBE i JUST WANT TO TROLL YOU MORE,  
AT: aND MAKE FUN OF YOU, aBOUT HOW YOUR BLADE LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING FROM A WRIGGLER’S ANIME,,,  
TT: Don’t diss the blade.  
TT: Also, Troll Anime?  
AT: yES, wE HAVE THOSE,  
TT: Let me guess: they’re awful.  
AT: nO, THEY’RE GREAT, aND YOU SHOULD LOVE THEM,  
TT: Tell me about them.  
AT: wHAT, rEALLY?  
TT: Sure. Might be something we have in common.  
AT: uM, oKAY,  
AT: i'LL SEND YOU, sOME OF THE FIDUSPAWN MOVIES,  
TT: I bet you’ve watched all of them.  
TT: That’s really cute.


	7. Rose ♦ Karkat

                It’s become somewhat of a tradition at this point. You sit on the outside of the pile of soft, plush, and torn dragon toys and gesture to your side for him to rest. He always lies down, staring at the ceiling instead of you, and you keep your notebook open to record observations.

                When he knows it’s just you in the room, he walks in as quietly as possible. He never makes eye contact – he just stares at the floor as he walks. It’s disheartening, and sometimes you wish you could do more. That’s not your place, however – you have to stay clinical. He settles himself in, back relocating and redistributing the downy, colorful bits of fabric and fluff, tugs at his pants and shirt hem, and exhales deeply. That’s how you know to speak.

                “Tell me about your day.” You always keep your voice as reserved and gentle as possible, partially to help keep him placated. When he’s really having a rough day, he shouts more than usual, and it can be deafening.

                “I woke up in another dream bubble,” he starts. His voice is gruff, but surprisingly reserved.

                “What happened?”

                “Oh, you know, some great thing you humans call a ‘family reunion.’ You know what I woke up in, huh? I woke up in finding Kanaya dead, and Sollux KO’d, bloodied and mangled. Then it got _worse_. I’m walking around, and _surprise!_ There’s dead versions of Equius and Nepeta, all covered in indigo and olive blood. I could see the fucking marks on them from the impacts. Just – Gamzee went nuts, okay?”

                You remember being told about their deaths. You shudder a little to yourself, but invite him to continue.

                “Then I find Eridan and Feferi of all trolls! Hanging out like they were childhood best friends, or worse, phantasmal, post-mortem matesprits!”

                “What’s so bad about that?”

                “It had to be recent – I mean, it had to be—“ his voice gets shaky. “Eridan’s clothes were covered in fuchsia and violet, like his body had just been fused back together, and then, _God,_ Feferi…”

                “You don’t have to tell me this—“

                “How could he do that to her? I mean, I knew  he was a genocidal asswipe, but really? Feferi? Then there’s a doomed Tavros I ran into, covered in bronze blood and crying over his legs—“

                “The afterlife is supposed to heal—“

                “I know, it is- that’s why this is so _fucking unsettling,_ alright?! I don’t know how it happened, but it was like I just ran into the recently doomed part of a bubble. _Then it got worse.”_

You gulp. You’re not even writing anything down. You look over at him and see him shifting to his side, trying to keep his face from you.

                “Karkat, was it…Terezi?”

                “…yeah,” he murmurs. “Stab wounds, lying there in a pool of teal. And then she—“ You hear what you think is a sob, and the sniffle afterwards confirms your suspicion. It reminds you of when you saw your mom when she died.

                You can’t be too passive anymore. You put down your notepad and lie in the pile with him, running a palm over his hair. He doesn’t question that you’re spooning him, basically – he’s too overwrought to care.

                “She gets up like it’s nothing, eyes all dead through the glasses and _smiles_.”

                He shivers under your hand, and you feel him back up into you, face moving around as if to see if anyone could walk in. You place a hand on his shoulder and tell him, “It’s okay, no one can hear what you’re saying.”

                “They all said the same _fucking_ thing! ‘It’s okay, it’s not your fault!’ Of _course_ it’s my damn fault! It’s supposed to be the leader’s fault; it’s the whole point of having a leader! It’s like they were all just lying to try to make me feel better about how much I fucked everyone over.”

                “They weren’t lying. It’s not your fault. Sometimes that’s how things have to happen.” Your voice is noticeably affected, and Karkat turns to face you, gray eyes looking up at you with concern.

                “Hey, you alright?” You come back to alertness; you’ve had your time to grieve and overcome that, so why is hearing him talk about this bringing it up?

                “I’m fine.”

                His expression softens, and you recognize it as the a look with the same pity and empathy you experience when you listen to him. “Nobody’s ever asked you how you’re doing, have they?”

                “Dave has.”

                “ _Really?_ ”

                “Once.”

                “Lie down, Lalonde,” he says, leaving the pile and taking your former place with your notebook. “Your turn. Tell me about your day.”

                Kanaya’s asked too, of course, but  she’s different. You want to impress her, to be her equal, to be stable and competent. There are some things you can’t talk about just yet. As you settle on your back, you realize how relaxing staring up into the ceiling with no overwhelming information really is, and it hits you: this is the first time you’ve been allowed to speak your mind without any possible complications.

                You exhale. You’ve actually really needed this.


	8. Jane ♠ Jake

                You take a trip to LOPAN to try to talk to Jane in person. This situation is dire, obviously, and it requires your utmost attention post-haste! Roxy tries to tell you that you should go back to LOMAX, go to LOTAK – anything but try to talk to Jane, but you’re a man of action and hollow words don’t suit you.

                Jane’s there in an outfit comprised entirely of the most wonderful shade of blue your eyes have ever seen, and _gosh,_ is it hard to remember what you want to say right about now when she looks like that. Speaking of looks, her eyes could cut through _enforced steel_ they’re so full of rage.  Still, those wild eyes are sparkling cyan blue, and it’s hard for you to tell if the pounding in your chest is from attraction or being _horrified._ Her hand is shaking the tiniest bit when you manage to approach her.

                “Jane,” you start, voice soft and nervous. “I really felt we should converse in person; it’s b-been a rather long time, and I hope you’ll agree that it doesn’t behoove either of us to—“

                ” _Shut up, Jake!_ ” She’s loud – much louder than you ever thought someone like her could be. The words come out as a kind of throaty growl.

                “I’m sorry, Janey, I can’t ‘shut up’! There’s too much I need to talk to you about!”

                She starts to close the space between the two of you, walking away from where a table once was and forcing you to walk backwards to accommodate her. She hisses through her teeth, “What part of _shut the fuck up_ did you _not_ understand the first time? What are you going to say, Jake? Oh, blah blah blah, I can’t _remember dates,_ blah blah blah, look at me and my _boyfriend,_ blah blah blah, check out my _way too revealing short shorts!”_

She crossed a line there. You’re all for open and constructive dialogue, but you don’t quite see how talking about your wardrobe is helpful. “I’ll have you know this is top adventuring gear, Jane.”

                “You’re fucking _clueless!”_ She tosses the tube of frosting to the floor, getting some on her fingers. You can’t help but notice it – and you can’t help but notice she’s staring at your legs. “Are you just here to twist the knife in me?”

                “ _What?”_ What the devifucking dickens is she talking about? Frankly, her standoffishness is making you angry, and the way her chest keeps heaving isn’t making it any easier to feel like you need to…do something back. “Jane, why are you trying to turn me into the bad guy here?”

                She screams; you shouldn’t feel blood pool in your abdomen but it is. “You _are_ the bad guy, Jake!”

                You get a little bit of a spine going. “No, I’m really not! How am I supposed to know what you’re so gosh darn _furious_ over if you don’t damn well _talk to me?”_ Another thought slips out before you can take it back: “I thought you were smarter than that, Jane, golly.”

                The tone of it must have set her off, because before you know it, a fist is coming at you. You dodge; both of you end up on the floor, you mostly trying to defend yourself from her onslaught. After a few tumbles and mutters of profanities from Jane (so out of character for her, and so _damn passionate_ ), she pins you down. Part of you wants to fight back, so you grab at her shoulder and her hair as she looms over you.

                “You’re a fucking _moron,”_ she huffs.

                Then she kisses you, biting and sucking at your lips hard enough bruise. You pull at her hair in response, and it earns you a groan. _What the hell?_ What just happened and why did that feel _so good?_

                You take that moment to flip her over onto her back, looking straight into those stunning blue eyes as you pin her shoulder down. You wipe your mouth and notice she’s still trying to kick at you; you grab up her other leg around your hip.

                ”And _you_ still won’t _talk,”_ you reply. ”But I guess that’s what happens when your mouth is…otherwise occupied.”

                She growls. You smirk.

                Jane grabs you by the collar and keeps kissing you. Any problems between the two of you come out as three-syllable phrases, usually peppered with profanities and grunts.

                This is going to be a long “talk.”


	9. Dave ♠ Kankri

                You laugh. “Oh man, another Vantas.”

                He’s got on this ridiculous, bright red turtleneck sweater, and everything about him screams arrogant douche. At least Karkat’s got the cojones to get on level with everyone else. This guy…this guy thinks he has all the answers, if that disgustingly sweet smile and way too gentle, parental voice is any indication.

                “Why _hello…_ what was your name again? Forgive me if I’ve offended you for not properly prefacing my question with warnings regarding identity politics.”

                Oh for the love of fuck. He’s serious, isn’t he? Only one way to deal with this. “You piece of shit.”

                “F-forgive me, I didn’t mean to cause you any distress—“

                “Do you have any _clue_ what kind of trauma you just unearthed from the dark recesses of my brain?”

                He looks like he’s going to cry, suddenly bringing his hands up as if to keep you at a safe distance. “Do you have a moirail who could perhaps placate you?”

                “You trollcentric scum; my species doesn’t _have_ mwah-rails.” You offer a sniffle.

                “Oh, goodness….Porrim! Porrim, do you think you can hel-“

                You snicker. “I’m fine, dude. Name’s Dave.”

                He exhales huffily and glares at you – or, at least you think he’d be glaring at you, were it not for the empty and ghost-white eyes he’s sporting. “Dave, what you just did was completely disrespectful. You took advantage of my kindness and my attempt to _bond_ with you despite our vast cultural and physical differences. I don’t think you’re aware of how many people you’ve hurt and offended, not the least of which is me.”

                “Sorry. I guess.”

                “Now, I’d be more than happy to put this aside, let the healing commence, and start anew.” Has he been waiting all day to say those words? Guy is fucking _insufferable._

                “Quit the messiah complex, Vantas.”

                He looks scandalized beyond compare; if he had pearls, he’d be clutching them for his dear life. “Are you implying that I’m some kind of teal templar, or that I’m taking on a high-blood’s burden? I’ll have you know that I’m a complete outcaste, trying to be sensitive to the levels of aggression and repression that come from the very privileges you’re claiming I have—“

                You pantomime with your hand. “Blah blah blah…”

                “And all the while, I am trying to get to _know_ you, and all you’re doing is making me cross!”

                “What d’ya wanna know?” You really don’t care about his whole “Troll Jesus” schtick; you just wish he’d get to the point before you clean his clock for this BS. If anyone’s qualified to do it, it’s you.

                He looks startled. “Oh.” He gives you another smug smile before starting again, saying, “Well, I guess I should start by asking if you have any particular triggers…”

                “I’m triggered by trigger warnings,” you offer flatly. You can’t help but let a hint of a smirk slide across your lips.

                That sets him off. His eyes are suddenly alight and wild, and he shakes, inhaling deeply before he speaks. He talks with a bite, and he sounds like a mother trying to give a child a three second warning.

                “Now _look here,_ Dave. I realize this might be some kind of profoundly important cultural practice of you ‘humans,’ but where I’m from, what you’re doing is downright… _unacceptable_.”

                You shrug your shoulders. “So?”

                “I swear, you have got to be the most…insufferable prick I’ve ever tried to communicate with!” He starts shaking a finger _too close_ to your face like a nanny. “Why, if I weren’t dedicated to my life of nonviolence and cel-“

                He shuts up when you close your mouth around his finger and give him a lashing of your tongue and teeth. You scoff; fucker needs to get laid desperately.


	10. Equius ♥ Damara

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mildly NSFW.

                You can scarcely understand her accent, but her posture and your... _position_...certainly do help matters.

                You are lying flat on your back on the filthy, muddy _ground_ of all places; it is lewd and absolutely degrading. She’s standing above you, one dainty bare foot pressing down onto your chest. It doesn’t hurt – you’re much too _strong_ for that – but the pressure is rather....something.

                Her arms are folded over her chest, gray a complete contrast to that rust-hued schoolgirl’s outfit she wears so brazenly. Has she no shame? She should wear her blood color merely for identification, not as the basis for an entire ensemble as if she were proud of it.

                Were it not for the way her hair is pulled back into a bun, she’d look almost exactly like Aradia – exquisite, really. At least, that’s what you think, until you see that smirk ghost its way across her full, red lips. This troll...she’s beautiful, yes, but darker. Sinister, even. _Smug._

“You aren’t even worthy of being under my foot,” she says with a laugh. It is absolutely disgusting, and the situation is making you... _perspire,_ quite heavily.

                “This is positively scandalous—“ The words lack bite, cracking dryly onto your tongue.

                “Horse boy.”

                “Are you addressing me—“ She still won’t let you finish a sentence.

                She stretches, as if tired, and her chest moves rather obscenely. You can’t help but leer – you’re disgusting. “You’re a horse boy. And I...” she smiles again, that devilish thing, and lowers herself to straddle you, bringing her hands to your shoulders, tugging at your shirt. “...am your schoolgirl. You must please me.”

                “Is that an _order?_ ” How dare she.

                She laughs; you shudder underneath of her. “You _must.”_

                She takes one of her hands and runs it through your hair before grabbing your wrist and making you bring a sweaty, clammy hand to the outside of her thigh underneath her skirt.

                “Yes...if – if that is an order, then I...”

                “Hmph.” She smiles, self-satisfied and obviously amused by your submission. She acts as if she’s an aloof, crimson empress.

                And right now, you want to treat her like one.


	11. Jade ♥ Latula

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ship this harder than anything I have written in this piece.

                “Hey girl!”

                Usually, you find that phrase _annoying._ When she says it, though, it never sounds demeaning or disrespectful. It’s always playful, enthusiastic, and adorable in that raspy, gritty-yet-feminine voice she has. When she finally rolls up to you on her skateboard, she lowers her glasses at you and smiles.

                “Bring your board?”

                “Just made it!” you proudly say and nod. You show it to her, bringing it out from being tucked under your arm. It’s black, with blue, uranium-green, and orchid Squiddles on it. It coordinates nicely with the outfit you picked for the occasion. It’s just fancy enough to show off, functional enough for your plans for the day.

                She notices it immediately: “I like your outfit!”

                “Thanks!” you chirp back. It’s an oldie, but a goodie: black leggings, blue dress that ends just above the knee, and a red Squiddle-inspired jacket. “I thought it’d be nice if we matched a little!” Her outfits always look so cool, so together, and so _radical_ with the teal ensemble with red leather boots and gloves.  “Don’t laugh if I’m not as good as you!” you say teasingly.

                “Jade, you know I’m not like that! Come _on!_ ” She’s still smiling. You stick out your tongue at her and she winks.

                It takes you a while to get your balance and your bearings; she holds your hands and breaks your fall a few times as you get the hang of it. She’s encouraging as she watches you go around a few times on your own. Once you manage a grind down on the railing, she _cheers._ “ _Yeah Jade!”_

                You spend the day learning tricks from Latula, who is downright amazing at controlling and manipulating her way around objects on the board. When you realize that what she’s doing is _exactly what Skaia thinks you’re best at,_ you smile to yourself with a little plan.

                “Hey Tula! I think I can show you some new tricks!”

                “Oh yeah?” she says, voice still sweet and teasing. “Let’s see!”

                You do a few tricks that...may or may not have been facilitated by manipulation of the size of objects, changing the speed of your board by Space Witch magic, and working around the rules of physics. When you roll back to Latula, she’s practically picking her jaw up from the floor.

                “Holy...hot.... _damn!”_ She’s always so enthusiastic and _sincere_ about it! You can't help but give a little bit of a giggle to her in response.

                “Did I impress you?”

                “Hell yeah!” She brings an arm up and you meet her without hesitation. “High five!”

                “Thanks!”

                “But I gotta say, Jade-y,” she chides with a taunting lilt, “I know you totally _cheated!_ ” Of course she’d know.

                “It’s not cheating! I just...used what I could!” Before you know it, you’re laughing. “How about we play a game you could use your powers with next?”

                “Sure,” she says as she brings a welcome arm around you as you pick up your respective boards. “Whatcha got in _mind_?” Bad puns – she likes them. Must be a Beforan thing.

                “I’ve got Clue and Battleship. Sound good?”

                “Totally. Fair warning, though—“

                “I’m playing with the game girl, the best, I know!”

                She gives you a kiss on the cheek as you walk off to where you’ve got the games in John’s house.


End file.
